Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Daphne Dokgo's Dryer
The unusual behavior of Daphne Dokgo's dryer eventually led to her disappearance. For several years the machine had behaved as any dryer nearing the end of its cycle of life. It vanished socks, left jeans slightly damp, and targeted only expensive items for shrinking. And so, with a twinge of guilt over betraying the faithful appliance, Daphne contemplated getting a new dryer. However, after shopping around the local appliance stores, she decided to hold off until this one broke down.
Perhaps it was the ill advised perusal of new appliances. Perhaps it was because the old dryer was already in the throws of malfunction. Or maybe she had just worked it too hard for too long. Whatever the cause, laundry day for Daphne became a strange ordeal. It began with the curious appearance of an extra red striped tube sock that Sunday. The following week every sock she matched had two mates. By the next week the machine was making weird groans and whines. When she opened it she discovered a 2 foot long hairbrush and a tiny canoe oar. Soon there were dried octopi, durian, bonsai trees, undersized walking canes, and all manner of random items showing up in the laundry. The machine had clearly gone rogue.
Daphne was shaken and slightly angry. She decided to discover the source of these strange appearances for herself. Daphne dumped the laundry, consisting of mostly unexpected objects, onto the table and turned to face the dryer. The door hung half open as if the machine was leering at her with a malevolent grin. From inside a new and unseemly light shone. Not a warm yellow hearkening fresh laundry but a dull, unkindly, green. Daphne took a breath and, knowing better, climbed into the dryer.
When Daphne's neighbor came for their scheduled luncheon the only spread she found on the table was laundry and the only ambiance an opened dryer with the usual yellow light shining out. So remember, if you are missing a sock or two on laundry day, don't complain. It could go a lot worse for you.