Wednesday, November 25, 2009
The Rat Lady
Yew street residents thought Mabel Olson, the lady who owned 83 cats, was bad. The neighborhood association created a new ordinance ruling out all cats in the area and the Cat Lady packed her 83 cats and moved.
Zelda Kinkley, the Rat Lady moved in with 2 rats and an unusual sense of house design . Before long the neighborhood association received sightings of hundreds of large rats with an uncanny degree of intelligence. Each week the number of reports grew though no one could precisely pin the infestation on the Rat Lady. That is until the Rat King began prowling the neighborhood spreading garbage, gnawing tires, and devouring pets. Its substantial tracks led right into Zelda's cellar. What was worse than having a Rat King residing in the neighborhood was that anyone who complained found their houses gnawed or simply found they had vanished. The neighborhood association called the Cat Lady and begged her to come back. She listed several demands including the removal of the feline prevention ordinance and 900 gallons of milk delivered to her door each year. With these understandings in place the Cat Lady purchased the house across the street from the Rat Lady. She and her 83 cats were moved in within a few hours.
The battle was loud and messy and when the sun rose over Yew street the following morning there were thousands of dead rats and dozens of cat bodies littering the street. The Rat Lady had gone and all that was left of her house was a gnawed pile of scrap and a deep hole that was covered up with metal and locks.
several dozen scarred cats live quite happily in the vacant lot where the Rat Lady's house used to be. Once in a while a cat will vanish but cats are prone to wander. It is, however, strange that the metal and locks in that same lot must be replaced ocassionaly.